Sisyphus had it easier

As my last post stated, I got accepted into a local university.  I'm still in shock over that.  I applied on a whim, not thinking that anything would come of it.  Same with financial aid back in....January.

And therein lies my boulder.  A $737 boulder of student loans.

Let's back up to 1998 when after graduating from school, I went away to college.  I had a scholarship through the school that paid for a quarter of my tuition.  I got financial aid that paid for the rest.  Until someone lost one important piece of paper that my parents and I signed.

Alright.  We have a copy of it.

Oh, no.  We can only accept the original.

I'm not exactly too sure how long my parents argued that one.  All I remember is the possibility that I wasn't going to be able to finish my freshman year.

It came down to getting a couple loans.  We were less than happy, dammit.  We had done everything right.

Due to a massive case of depression and migraines run amok I was asked not to return.

Then my son was born a year or so later.

And my college plans were put on hold.

I've paid off the vast majority of the loans.  It's taken time, because most places don't understand what migraines are.  I've come to accept that.  I deal with it.  I don't want pity.  I don't need pity.  I want a fucking chance, though.

I'm taking a chance on trying to go back to school.  The past three years, I was at the local community college trying to get into the occupational therapy assistance program.  My chances are slim to nil.  My GPA just isn't good enough.  However, most of the classes I took for that program (the generals) also will transfer for a teaching degree.  Hell, I've been teaching my son most of what he knows about English anyway.  Why not?

I can't get financial aid, though.  Not with the $737 student loan hanging over my head.  The university, when I called, said they can't help me get it deferred.  They sent me to a different place.  Oh no, they only deal with financial aid.  Sorry.  You have to talk to the people who hold the loans.  Well, do you know who that may be?  No.  Great.

The system is set up not to help.  I have a rock that I'm pushing.  And the system is trying to shove me back.